Comparison has become part our society rather it is on facebook or pinterest. When I was in Jr High and High School, I remember always comparing myself more to other girls I went to church with than girls I went to school with. I never felt good enough. I never felt like I was pretty enough. I never felt spiritual enough to be around or hang out with. SO I started doing my own thing, including rebellion against everything I was ever was taught at church. The same people that set the spiritual foundation in me were the same people I would inwardly rebel against. I felt they were being nice to me because they felt sorry for me because I had a lot to deal with at home. I did things just like every teenager did to get attention rather it was good or not. Today, I look back and honestly see that my biggest problem was COMPARISON. I am so happy that I didn’t grow up with social media because honestly I would of been more anxious and depressed.
I can hardly believe I have been out of school for 20 years. I am definitely not the same insecure girl. Instead, I have gained confidence of who I am today. Like me or don’t it doesn’t matter to me. I know the people who truly love me and accept for who I am. I look forward of seeing a few familiar faces at my high school reunion.
So much has happen in 20 years, good and bad but the one thing I am thankful for is for the people in my life today. Also, I don’t have to be the perfect Christian. I just need to be me and be willing to seek His face. I don’t seek Him daily like I should but I have the best accountability partner ever. She keeps me in check. Even when I make an excuse. She calls me out on it. She’s not afraid to keep me in check. My best friend is an amazing woman. She is one the strongest people I know. She has taught me so much and continues to do so. I am so very thankful for her!
I am far from perfect and God knows I will never be but I feel the love and acceptance from Him. God has placed amazing people in my life that keeps me balanced spiritual, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I may still deal with Anxiety & Depression but I am thankful for medication that helps me keep those feelings in check. I just wish I had those medications as a teenager things could of been different. I can’t change the past but I change the present and future! I have learned to just embrace who I was created to be!
I am a wife to an amazing husband! I am a mother to two amazing toddlers! I am a stay at home mom. Laugh at myself quite often because I remember when I was younger and whispering to God my heart desires. Desires that only He knew. I would whisper often “when I have my children I want to be able to stay home and raise them in a way that God desired not the way I grew up.” A prayer that was answered! I also have the opportunity to home educate my beautiful babies. Some days are a breeze and other days I want to pull my hair out! lol
Whatever God has brought you through just be who HE has made you to be. Comparing yourself just causes unhappiness, jealousy and sometime anger towards God because all you see is what other have gotten. All you might have gotten is struggle after struggle. Struggling isn’t all bad just remember it will make you stronger and wiser! The person you see that “SEEMS” to have it all. Really doesn’t. They struggle just like you just in silence. So if you want to compare yourself to anyone then compare yourself to the person in the mirror. God made you and loves you just the way you are! Beautiful and Strong inside and out!
Have a Blessed Day!