I was Lost but now I am Found

Sorry it has been so long since my last blog, time has really slipped away from me. January is always an extremely busy month for us. Right after Christmas then my daughter’s birthday and then onto my birthday so before we know it February creeps up on us….

During my busy month I have really stepped it up and opened myself up to God in a way I have never done. Have you ever been in a place in your life when you feel extremely vulnerable? Maybe on your wedding night  when it is just you and your husband  for the first time. You could feel a bit vulnerable like never before. Something changed in you that night. The Wall of Jericho that has always surrounded you comes tumbling down and for the first time your husband glazes in your eyes piercing right into your soul. Well, that is how God wants us – vulnerable to Him. I feel like for the first time in my life the Wall of Jericho has crumbled down. Standing in complete awe of Him, watching the Master chisel {cut, shaped} away all the hurt and pain, humiliation, fear, and erasing away all the bad & scary memories of my childhood to adulthood; to only discover a beautiful shiny diamond that was hidden underneath it all. To finally get this glimpse of hope, love, and beauty has really all I ever wanted. For so long I covered and shield myself from Him and from others that have known me. See, Father God has something more for us! He wants to take all that has happen in our lives and restore better than new!

When I finally came to this place, I seen Him first hand see my heart and know my thoughts. Over a period of 6 months he slowly removed people from my life that had no place any more. Some people would look at this as I was ending friendships to be cruel and evil but that wasn’t what was happening. Oh How I love thee!  My Father God, was chiseling all the negativity from my life and when He was done with that part he was smoothing out the relationships that were still negative but needed to be there to show me that HE IS GOD ALMIGHTY! Who has given me the keys to improve the way I use my words & acted in those relationships. Now, I am not perfect and I do not claim to be but I am His Masterpiece that is being purified to see things not in my own eyes but with a clearer perception on life.

For far too long I allowed people to steal Love, Joy, Peace, Hope, and Faith from me. I allowed people to take from me, talk down to me, and mistreat me. Over time, I began to go with the “flow” and started to act like them. I am not saying these people were all bad, because they weren’t. I once had a dear friend of mine reminded me there is a season for everything. This season of my life caused friendship to unravel and that even meant certain friendships had to end.

 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14

I took a long look in the mirror and discovered that I really didn’t like the person I became. I was at that place where I was crying out to God like I had so many times before… “WHY GOD-WHY ME!” This time, I really listened to what He had to say. His soft but stern voice was so loving and gracious even though I know I didn’t deserve it. He gently showed me many things in the last several months on what I really needed to see-He shined HIS LIGHT on the darkness in my life. I had surrounded myself with too many negative people allowing them to rub off on me and I was now acting like them. He was showing me how I was really treating my husband with my words and actions,  treating other people I loved, and how I was acting as a mother. I wanted to be better example to my children so they will never know a day without Jesus. I finally allowed the truth to shine on me and yes I am sure there is more truth to see but right now this is all God was showing me so He could improve and better me. One step at a time. One moment at a time.
 I was allowing things to affect me negatively and I was giving permission to be drained all the time. So I had nothing to give to my own family. When you are the child of God you need to surround yourself with healthy and positive people who can become your accountability. I came to this place where it was time to put behind the gossip, back-biting, hatred, anger, strife, and stop living for myself! When you do that, things are going to change. The wind shifted in a new direction for me, where I could stand on top of the mountain and look down into the valley and see the beauty that God had created for me. My heart had received a heart transplant from the best surgeon of all. For the first time in my life, I really feel completely vulnerable and free in a beautiful way! I am developing a new &  fresh romance. I am sure there are people who are reading this and think this girl is a quack – trust me I’m not I have seen and know that I have been seeking for a long time and found a jewel so beautiful and priceless that is worth more to me than anything I have ever lost or was taken away from me. God has breathed new life in my marriage, my relationships with people, with my family, and especially with my children.
I am now surrounding myself around people who don’t just love me but people who lift me up and encourage me just like I do for them. I have chosen to really get to know who my Creator is to me. He has changed me. I am not perfect. I am still human that makes mistakes and have bad days just like the next person but that still doesn’t change that I am a work in progress being chiseled daily by my Master, my Lord and Savior!
“For we are God’s workmanshipcreated in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 (NIV 1984)
In Christ,

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