I can hardly believe that December is only a few short days away. So I stop and look back at what 2013, has taught me about myself. Have a learned and grown in any specific ways? Have I grown in Christ? Have grown as a wife and mother? Have I grown and changed as a woman? Every year I try to stop and examine my year. See how I can do better to myself and others. This year has been a growing year. It’s been a stretching of my faith. But to me mostly, becoming the woman God has called me to be. His love is PERFECT so I don’t have to be. (A Confident Heart, Renee Swopes).
My heart had been searching and discovered who is God and not just what a preacher says He is but who He is to me. My first step came when I had to take a step back from a church that has always been my “home church” since I was a child. Then I found a church where no one knew me. I began to worship and learn who is this God I worship. In my mind if I would discover who God is then I would find out who I am in Christ, who I am as a wife, who I am as a mother, daughter, family member, and as a woman. This journey I have been on has been a very difficult one. I had to become truly honest with God, others and myself. Looking myself in the mirror has not always been a easy thing for me to do.
So who is my God? He created Heavens and earth with detail and precision. Not leaving one thing on this earth untouched with detail (Genesis 1-11). He is a Sovereign God (Rev. 21:6, Col. 1:16, Rom 11:33, Jer. 32:17). I have always heard “Sovereign God” but never truly understood what it was meant until I started digging deeper. In the dictionary, “sovereign” has many phrases and words attached to it, like “superior,” “supreme in power and authority, ” and independent of all others.” The way I have been able to grasp it is by saying it this way, “My God is in control of everything!” He is all -knowing and all powerful!
WOW… that blew me away completely. Then I started on the next part of my journey once I discovered the kind of God I worship. I started a Online Bible Study with Proverbs 31 with Renee Swopes Book “A Confident Heart.” Now that has been amazing way for me to be fully honest with God and myself on who I have become and how I viewed myself. So I started to be real and discovered that how I viewed myself is NOT how my God seen me in His eyes. The best part to me was, I am uniquely made and created as God’s masterpiece! That my childhood and my past does not dictate who I Am in Christ. I may had felt unloved, unaccepted, unworthy, and not valued but God word says, I am loved, I am chosen, I am worthy, I am valuable, and worthy of Him and His mercy & grace. I can close the door to my childhood and past. Become the woman God has called me to be. I am a worshiper in spirit and truth! If I expected my Sovereign God to forgive me for the wrongs I have done in my life … I must forgive and release those people who have done wrong to me.
Did you catch that…
Matthew 6:14-15 Living Bible
“14-15 Your heavenly Father will forgive you if you forgive those who sin against you; but if you refuse to forgive them, he will not forgive you.”
Why do you think Jesus first said this directly after “Lord’s Prayer” in Matthew and then again he said it again in Mark 11:25-26. I think he was stressing the importance of forgiving even when the other person may not deserve to be forgiven. Jesus knew he was going to be betrayed but he still said it not once but twice. I have been betrayed and hurt by people that I have trusted and loved since I was a child but Jesus still tells us that we need to forgive not for the other persons sake but for our sake. So our “Sovereign God” who is all knowing and all powerful and is in control of every situation will forgive us. So if we can forgive those, He forgives us, and in turn my all knowing God will take care of them. See by releasing the betrayal, the hurt, the pain associated to the mess, He is a fair and just God. In Isaiah 61:2 we are reminded that he is in control.
Isaiah 61:2 Amplified Bible
“2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord [the year of His favor] [a]and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,”
I have to admit forgiving certain people has been the hardest thing for me to do but what I love the most about God is found in Jeremiah. But not only forgiving and releasing the person, I started to see those people through God’s eyes. Time to get our eyes checked and get new glasses…Godly Glasses…
Jeremiah 29:11 Living Bible
“11 For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
God has known me since I was in my mother’s belly, He knew me as a child growing up in abuse, alcoholism, confusion associated with divorce and my family being ripped and shredded apart literally. He knew me as a child, as a teenager, as a young married woman and then divorced woman. Finally, He knew what I would go through but He most importantly would give me a future but not any kind of future but with hope.
This time of year is always busy but I ask of you this season to take a step back and remember the true reason for this season. Forgiveness and love go hand in hand. I am not saying you have to be best buds with those that have done you wrong but to forgive and release them. Then watch what God is in the business of doing…Giving a future filled with HOPE.
God Bless and have a great day!