Getting to the Root…Part 1

I am woken by my 5 year old, “mama come lay with me”

I graciously get up and walk back to my bed since I was laying with my three year old in his bed. Following a shadow with my eyes barely open and watch her slip in the middle next to her daddy. As a I lay there my heart sinks deeper in what had conspired from the day before. My heart was being spoken to in that soft and quiet voice. Not of condemnation or guilt but of love and grace.

Yesterday was week 1 and day 1 of another online bible study that I decided to participate with. Kinda hard not to participate when my best friend buys and has the book delivered to your doorstep. ha ha. Now that’s a true friend.  Keep It Shut by Karen Ehman, was a book I know I needed but I have tried so many times to watch my words and actions all I have ever did was fail. Yesterday was no different from any other day. All it took was a little fire of tiredness oh okay exhaustion, and that time of the month to cause me to spiral downward. Lets just say everything that could go wrong absolutely did.

Or did it.

Was it a day that God allow things to happen to get me to this place. The root of my explosions. Unfortunately, I always end up with an audience. The little people that God has watching me day in and day out. They really are the reasons why I want to be that better person and connecting mom. Not the overprotective, overbearing, co-dependent but the mom that is connected. I don’t want my kids to ever be afraid to come to me when they have done something they know they shouldn’t had done but did it any way. Or when they done something good. I don’t give them what they need most unconditional Love and never ending Grace!

I hope you follow me on this journey. I really don’t know where it’s gonna take me but I know that I am God’s masterpiece and He’s not done with me yet..

10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)




  1. I made it in your blog I am so pleased. Yes I sent you the book, this is a book we will both learn from because I know that I tend to sometimes say the wrong thing when I know I should have kept it shut!!!! I am probably the last person you thought you would be doing bible study with and when you suggested it I will admit I was a little hesitant, but you have opened up a new opportunity for me to get closer to my faith that was once very important to me. I dont know somewhere along the way it just kind of fell by the wayside. Looking back the events that happened in May helped to point me on the path I am on today. I in large part have you to thank for that, I find myself thirtsting for knowledge and loving the whole online bible study thing. I know that for a long time I have needed to work on anger issues that have taken over my life. I am not completely over the events that lead me to where I am today and most days they creep up on me but I am putting one foot in front of the other and will not let it drag me down. I know that I have an amazing support system and I look forward to new person I am becoming.

    Your Best Friend Priscilla

  2. Thank you for challenging me to keep my focus on the positive things in life, in my marriage, in parenthood and in our friendship. Your am amazing friend! You keep me laughing when I want to pull my hair out and cry…love you my best friend!!!

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