It’s been quite the ride in the last couple of months. Sometimes being honest and looking yourself in the mirror can be the hardest thing to do but it’s worth it all at the end of the day.
I became a person I never wanted to become. I allowed all the emotions in my body rule. Became a person that I allowed angry, selfishness, pride, hate, and jealously rule my life. The person I never wanted to be.
I had to take real hard look in the mirror and I didn’t like what I seen. Who I truly was created to be was so buried underneath a pile of garbage and rocks that I had to really dig and pick up each piece. I had to find the gem way down underneath all the rumble.
What I found was a dirty gem that had scratches on it and needed a lot of work to make beautiful again. As I picked up each piece of garbage and rock I discovered was not pretty at all.
Selfishness, Pride, Hate, Jealousy
I bowed my head as tears stream down my face in complete despair. I hear these beautiful words from that still small voice.
I created you. I knew you before you were even born. I knew what path you would walk. I knew what you would be. I knew you and I love you just the way you are. You are beautiful to me.
So many times we don’t stop and realize that God Almighty knew before it even happen. HE is a Sovereign God. He gives us choices. That is what is so amazing about Him. I am far from perfect and I will never be. The way I thought, the way I spoke, the way I act and responded made this beautiful gem look ugly. I was touchy and irritable. I was outspoken. I said things that I truly should had never said. I took things out of proportion. I was a MEAN person.
I may have never grown up in a home that taught God’s character but God brought people in my life that set a foundation. A solid foundation on His Word, His Ways,and His Love. Foundation is the key if the house that is built can survive and flourish after the hurricanes of life.
So my choice is to walk down a completely different road. A road that leads to balance, love, joy, peace, and contentment.
Even though I know tough days are ahead of me.
I have been blessed to have some amazing people in my life to sharpen and hold me accountable for my words and actions.
So Who am I……
I am a Jesus Girl who loves to pray for those around me and study God’s Word. I love to laugh; yes I laugh loudly. I love to have fun. I am a wine drinker. I love chatting with my best girlfriend. I love being home with my children. Especially learning from them as much as they learn from me. I love my husband and being his wife. He challenges me to become a better wife to him and how I represent our family! I may be rough on the edges but don’t judge this book by it’s cover because really I am kid at heart and I truly never want to grow up. I love our home and re-arranging it all the time. HAHAHA. I hate laundry; who doesn’t. I hate doing dishes but thankful for dish washers. I love shopping online over shopping in a store. I love buying books. Yes books. Some women buy shoes or purses for me it’s BOOKS! I have over 300 in my kindle and I have tons more sitting on my bookshelves. Yes I love reading the books I have not just a collector. My kids have tons and tons of books. Wealth of information from all levels of life. I love Coconut Oil and Essential Oils especially learning how to implement them in our home. I have a passion for giving to others. I would rather give away than selling items. I love sponsoring our Compassion kids in Africa. It amazes us what our small contribution we give each month and birthday gifts; blessing them beyond words can describe.