Finding Peace

For a long time, I have struggled with anxiety and fear. I have allowed anxiety steal my joy and peace of mind. For the last 4 years, it had gotten so bad that I had ask my Doctor to prescribe me something. I was so tired mentally. I just wanted something to numb my senses so I could grasp for air. So many times I felt these big huge hands around my throat choking me from enjoying my life and the life that God had blessed me with.

I finally could breath!

I was able to sleep and handle stresses that came from every direction. I felt like the wife I wanted to be. The mama my kids so deserved! I was able to step up in ways that I allow fear and anxiety to steal from me. In the last couple of years, I was able to shake and break bad friendships that were just tearing me down. Then God brought me a friend and then a few more to do things with. Each baby step I took, was leading directly where I needed to go. Home. At the feet of Jesus.

I was the clay that was being molded for His masterpiece. He loved me so much that my eyes could not see the big picture, but God did. God loves us so much that he will allow certain things to happen not to tear us down but to build us up in Him. No matter what anxiety or fear you face. No matter what lions may be staring you down, ready to rumble. No matter what, God gives us the hope and strength to overcome every fear, anxiety attack, and even when we feel rejected!

He gives us Hope, Love, Joy, and PEACE!

Everyday is a still a very real struggle but knowing no matter who or what lion I may be facing, God is so much BIGGER! He makes me more than a Conqueror in every situation. Life is like a chess game to me.  People are placed at just the right time to encourage and give you the strength to keep carrying on. Then when the time is right to make your move it’s perfect and priceless. The reason is because  we are not fighting against flesh and blood  but against every spiritual forces of evil…Ephesians 6:12

With my Dr’s help, I’ve been able to slowly come off my medication. It’s so hard some days, but I know that I serve the GREAT PHYSICIAN who can heal every part of me. Jesus laid hands on the sick all the time and they were healed. The lame walked. The blind could see. Deaf could hear. In Jesus Name I am Healed!

So I am putting my trust in Him and renewing my mind to his word. Changing my stinkin’ thinkin’ to I have overcome the world. I am not perfect but I was created for His purpose and my Creator is not done with me yet.

A good life is not that is entirely trouble free, but it is one that can always be enjoyed because we trust God and have thought filled with hope a good attitude. Romans 12:2

Joyce Meyers wrote this right on when speaking of Romans 12:2 perfectly in her book “The Mind Connection.”

God has a good, acceptable and perfect plan for you and me, and the way we experience that is not to think like the world thinks, but to be changed entirely by learning to renew our mind and think the way God thinks.

Father God,

Help me to always see your way is better than my own. Help me to rely on you for my strength in every area of my life. You are The Great Physician and I put my trust in you! Even in the darkest days I feel you and know you! I am a Overcomer!

In Jesus Name Amen






Finding My Way

It’s been quite the ride in the last couple of months. Sometimes being honest and looking yourself in the mirror can be the hardest thing to do but it’s worth it all at the end of the day.

I became a person I never wanted to become. I allowed all the emotions in my body rule. Became a person that I allowed angry, selfishness, pride, hate, and jealously rule my life. The person I never wanted to be.

I had to take real hard look in the mirror and I didn’t like what I seen. Who I truly was created to be was so buried underneath a pile of garbage and rocks that I had to really dig and pick up each piece. I had to find the gem way down underneath all the rumble.

What I found was a dirty gem that had scratches on it and needed a lot of work to make beautiful again. As I picked up each piece of garbage and rock I discovered was not pretty at all.

Selfishness, Pride, Hate, Jealousy

I bowed my head as tears stream down my face in complete despair. I hear these beautiful words from that still small voice.

I created you. I knew you before you were even born. I knew what path you would walk. I knew what you would be. I knew you and I love you just the way you are. You are beautiful to me. 


So many times we don’t stop and realize that God Almighty knew before it even happen. HE is a Sovereign God. He gives us choices. That is what is so amazing about Him. I am far from perfect and I will never be. The way I thought, the way I spoke, the way I act and responded made this beautiful gem look ugly. I was touchy and irritable. I was outspoken. I  said things that I truly should had never said. I took things out of proportion. I was a MEAN person.

I may have never grown up in a home that taught God’s character but God brought people in my life that set a foundation. A solid foundation on His Word, His Ways,and  His Love. Foundation is the key if the house that is built can survive and flourish after the hurricanes of life.


So my choice is to walk down a completely different road. A road that leads to balance, love, joy, peace, and contentment.

Even though I know tough days are ahead of me.

I have been blessed to have some amazing people in my life to sharpen and hold me accountable for my words and actions.

So Who am I……

I am a Jesus Girl who loves to pray for those around me and study God’s Word.  I love to laugh; yes I laugh loudly. I love to have fun. I am a wine drinker. I love chatting with my best girlfriend. I love being home with my children. Especially learning from them as much as they learn from me. I love my husband and being his wife. He challenges me to become a better wife to him and how I represent our family! I may be rough on the edges but don’t judge this book by it’s cover because really I am kid at heart and I truly never want to grow up. I love our home and re-arranging it all the time. HAHAHA. I hate laundry; who doesn’t. I hate doing dishes but thankful for dish washers. I love shopping online over shopping in a store. I love buying books. Yes books. Some women buy shoes or purses for me it’s BOOKS! I have over 300 in my kindle and I have tons more sitting on my bookshelves. Yes I love reading the books I have not just a collector. My kids have tons and tons of books. Wealth of information from all levels of life. I love Coconut Oil and Essential Oils especially learning how to implement them in our home. I have a passion for giving to others. I would rather give away than selling items. I love sponsoring our Compassion kids in Africa. It amazes us what our small contribution we give each month and birthday gifts; blessing them beyond words can describe. 

Prayer: Father God, may you soften each person that has read this blog today that they may desire to know you more. May you continue to chisel me that I may become less of me and more of you that every person that comes in contact with me sees your character shining through me. In Jesus Mighty Name. Amen

Hope and Pray that you have a Blessed Day!


Getting to the Root…Part 1

I am woken by my 5 year old, “mama come lay with me”

I graciously get up and walk back to my bed since I was laying with my three year old in his bed. Following a shadow with my eyes barely open and watch her slip in the middle next to her daddy. As a I lay there my heart sinks deeper in what had conspired from the day before. My heart was being spoken to in that soft and quiet voice. Not of condemnation or guilt but of love and grace.

Yesterday was week 1 and day 1 of another online bible study that I decided to participate with. Kinda hard not to participate when my best friend buys and has the book delivered to your doorstep. ha ha. Now that’s a true friend.  Keep It Shut by Karen Ehman, was a book I know I needed but I have tried so many times to watch my words and actions all I have ever did was fail. Yesterday was no different from any other day. All it took was a little fire of tiredness oh okay exhaustion, and that time of the month to cause me to spiral downward. Lets just say everything that could go wrong absolutely did.

Or did it.

Was it a day that God allow things to happen to get me to this place. The root of my explosions. Unfortunately, I always end up with an audience. The little people that God has watching me day in and day out. They really are the reasons why I want to be that better person and connecting mom. Not the overprotective, overbearing, co-dependent but the mom that is connected. I don’t want my kids to ever be afraid to come to me when they have done something they know they shouldn’t had done but did it any way. Or when they done something good. I don’t give them what they need most unconditional Love and never ending Grace!

I hope you follow me on this journey. I really don’t know where it’s gonna take me but I know that I am God’s masterpiece and He’s not done with me yet..

10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)


I Believe

So I have to be real my Jesus it’s so hard to be real.

My childhood was covered with my alcoholic father who abused my mother & brother physically, mentally, and emotionally. He walked out on my 7th birthday. He went to prison when I was 9 yrs old, for molestation. I was teased and picked on by classmates and teachers alike. My mother’s wrath was furious at home. A shy quiet girl,  targeted and molested by neighbor at 10 years old. Worth gone.  I was a nobody. At 11 yrs old, I met my Jesus.  I finally found what I so needed. The black cloud was moving. Because of the lies I believed growing up it made my teenage years no better. I starved for attention and looked for love from anyone. My Pastors were amazing people who were there for me. I finally developed a close knit friend and her family became my safe haven when I needed it.

The foundation of me was being rebuilt but I still believed in the mountain of lies. I was not worthy of love. I am nobody. I can’t do anything. I seen my Jesus dispute each of these lies through different ministry opportunities I experienced, but the lies were always there taunting me.

I finally found the man that God had for me when I was 32 years old.  We got married and started having our family. After giving birth to my daughter was when the anxieties and panic took over.  I have always struggled with some form of depression and anxiety since childhood. This time it was different. I felt fear wrapping his hands around my throat and literally choking me.

I can’t be a good mommy.

I can’t be a good wife.

I am too opinionated.

I am too outspoken.

I am not a good person.

These thoughts overtook me. They effected my work ethics, my home life, my relationships with friends.  So what changed.  I heard Joel Osteen say, “God is in the business of restoration.” “He is going to RESTORE everything that you ever lost.”  Those encouraging words were stepping stones for what God had in stored for me.

Chapter 2 “It is a rare soul indeed who has been sought after for who she is – not because of what she can do, or what other can gain from her, but simply for herself.” Jesus knows my heart is still broken but as I peel back each layer of hurt away and replace it with His Words then I start BELIEVING IT!

I Believe I can do ALL things through Christ (Phil 4:13)

I Believe I am God’s masterpiece; Made perfectly & exactly as I was suppose to be made. (Eph 2:10)

I Believe I am loved and valuable (John 3:16)


Yes these are my toes in the sand when I was celebrating my 30th birthday. I thought what a perfect way to remind myself all that I have learned in Chapter 1 & 2

I don’t know about you but I feel like God is refreshing me and showing me who He is – THE GREAT I AM. Everything that I have read in these chapters is exactly what God has been dealing with me for months. So here I am Jesus, Mold me-Shape me-Change me.

I Am Overcomer…..

I am starting a new OBS (Online Bible Study) with Melissa Taylor at Proverbs 31 “A Confident Heart” Renee Swope. So this is a good remember that as I take on this challenge of finally putting self doubt where it belongs behind me looking into God’s Light.  I love this song and if this doesn’t get me up and moving everyday I must be dead….lol

Overcomer reminds me that I am an OVERCOMER in Christ Almighty!  So I will be blogging on my process of this book study and I can’t wait to get digging in. Check back every Thursday for Blog Hop!

God Bless!


Season of Busyness

Have you ever had the season where you see the avalanche coming but it’s either going to overtake you or get on top of it and surf through it all…Well, this is the first time in a long time my season is upon me. I have had to step back and take a big breather and try to dust off my surfboard. Preparation is going to be my key in coming out the other side with lessons learned and pass the tests that lay ahead of me. I am not one to handle these seasons very well. I am usually get very overwhelmed and begin to sound like a dripping faucet. Dreading every bit of it and never find the joy in it all.

So how do you find joy in the midst of a crazy season? Really? I have seen people walk around and they seem so happy all the time. You know those type the ones that have a bounce to their step and slide in their groove and when they speak it sounds like they are singing to you. Those people would get on my nerves. Like really how can you be so happy and joyful. Do you know the world we live in? Do you know the circumstances I am in? Do you ? Can you say…ouch! Lets just say “repenting was there knocking too.”

I would clash horribly with these type of people not because I didn’t like them but I didn’t know the “secret” of there life. I was jealous that they could be so happy and I sat here so miserable.

What was there secret?…….You ready…..Take a deep breath and breathe out……IT WAS THERE CHOICE! Yep, they decided to keep joy in there lives instead of allowing circumstances to drag them down. WOW! That blew me away. I am reading the book “Choose Joy” Kay Warren, after a friend of mine said to me “you have to make a chose to have JOY in every situation.” When I heard that a spark went off inside me. I felt like the fire that I had been so desperately trying to light was finally lit.

Joy is a CHOICE……

So here I am at the mountaintop looking down and seeing all the busyness ahead of me…

  • First time homeschooling ….Find Joy
  • My husband is returning to college this fall…Find Joy
  • 2 weddings within months of each other….Find Joy
My list can go on and on but no matter what it is going to be vital for me to speak God’s Word out of my mouth every day….”I choose Joy!” So for the next 30 days, I have to change some bad habits into healthy habits. I am know that it’s not going to be easy to change but I know that, I can do all things through Jesus Christ! I have the mind of Christ. Whatever I put my hands to will prosper.
My Jesus, lover of my soul, change me and mold me.I choose to have Joy no matter what situation I may face.This season that is upon me may I choose to have joy and release my control of the wheel and allow you to have the driver seat. In Jesus Name….
So if you are like me half empty all the time it’s time to choose Joy! Allow God to take control of the situations that we face. It’s not going to be easy but make a goal and stick with it! God knows what He is doing and I really don’t think he needs our input so it’s time to hop out of the driver seat and let God Will Be Done! Another thing, pick up this book from Kay Warren. You will not regret it!
In Christ,