Finding Peace

For a long time, I have struggled with anxiety and fear. I have allowed anxiety steal my joy and peace of mind. For the last 4 years, it had gotten so bad that I had ask my Doctor to prescribe me something. I was so tired mentally. I just wanted something to numb my senses so I could grasp for air. So many times I felt these big huge hands around my throat choking me from enjoying my life and the life that God had blessed me with.

I finally could breath!

I was able to sleep and handle stresses that came from every direction. I felt like the wife I wanted to be. The mama my kids so deserved! I was able to step up in ways that I allow fear and anxiety to steal from me. In the last couple of years, I was able to shake and break bad friendships that were just tearing me down. Then God brought me a friend and then a few more to do things with. Each baby step I took, was leading directly where I needed to go. Home. At the feet of Jesus.

I was the clay that was being molded for His masterpiece. He loved me so much that my eyes could not see the big picture, but God did. God loves us so much that he will allow certain things to happen not to tear us down but to build us up in Him. No matter what anxiety or fear you face. No matter what lions may be staring you down, ready to rumble. No matter what, God gives us the hope and strength to overcome every fear, anxiety attack, and even when we feel rejected!

He gives us Hope, Love, Joy, and PEACE!

Everyday is a still a very real struggle but knowing no matter who or what lion I may be facing, God is so much BIGGER! He makes me more than a Conqueror in every situation. Life is like a chess game to me.  People are placed at just the right time to encourage and give you the strength to keep carrying on. Then when the time is right to make your move it’s perfect and priceless. The reason is because  we are not fighting against flesh and blood  but against every spiritual forces of evil…Ephesians 6:12

With my Dr’s help, I’ve been able to slowly come off my medication. It’s so hard some days, but I know that I serve the GREAT PHYSICIAN who can heal every part of me. Jesus laid hands on the sick all the time and they were healed. The lame walked. The blind could see. Deaf could hear. In Jesus Name I am Healed!

So I am putting my trust in Him and renewing my mind to his word. Changing my stinkin’ thinkin’ to I have overcome the world. I am not perfect but I was created for His purpose and my Creator is not done with me yet.

A good life is not that is entirely trouble free, but it is one that can always be enjoyed because we trust God and have thought filled with hope a good attitude. Romans 12:2

Joyce Meyers wrote this right on when speaking of Romans 12:2 perfectly in her book “The Mind Connection.”

God has a good, acceptable and perfect plan for you and me, and the way we experience that is not to think like the world thinks, but to be changed entirely by learning to renew our mind and think the way God thinks.

Father God,

Help me to always see your way is better than my own. Help me to rely on you for my strength in every area of my life. You are The Great Physician and I put my trust in you! Even in the darkest days I feel you and know you! I am a Overcomer!

In Jesus Name Amen






Comparison Game

Comparison has become part our society rather it is on facebook or pinterest. When I was in Jr High and High School, I remember always comparing myself more to other girls I went to church with than girls I went to school with. I never felt good enough. I never felt like I was pretty enough. I never felt spiritual enough to be around or hang out with. SO I started doing my own thing, including rebellion against everything I was ever was taught at church. The same people that set the spiritual foundation in me were the same people I would inwardly rebel against. I felt they were being nice to me because they felt sorry for me because I had a lot to deal with at home.  I did things just like every teenager did to get attention rather it was good or not. Today, I look back and honestly see that my biggest problem was COMPARISON. I am so happy that I didn’t grow up with social media because honestly I would of been more anxious and depressed.

I can hardly believe I have been out of school for 20 years. I am definitely not the same insecure girl. Instead, I have gained confidence of who I am today. Like me or don’t it doesn’t matter to me. I know the people who truly love me and accept for who I am. I look forward of seeing a few familiar faces at my high school reunion.images (2)

So much has happen in 20 years, good and bad but the one thing I am thankful for is for the people in my life today. Also, I don’t have to be the perfect Christian. I just need to be me and be willing to seek His face. I don’t seek Him daily like I should but I have the best accountability partner ever. She keeps me in check. Even when I make an excuse. She calls me out on it. She’s not afraid to keep me in check. My best friend is an amazing woman. She is one the strongest people I know. She has taught me so much and continues to do so. I am so very thankful for her!

I am far from perfect and God knows I will never be but I feel the love and acceptance from Him. God has placed amazing people in my life that keeps me balanced spiritual, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I may still deal with Anxiety & Depression but I am thankful for medication that helps me keep those feelings in check. I just wish I had those medications as a teenager things could of been different. I can’t change the past but I change the present and future! I have learned to just embrace who I was created to be!

I am a wife to an amazing husband! I am a mother to two amazing toddlers! I am a stay at home mom.  Laugh at myself quite often because I remember when I was younger and whispering to God my heart desires. Desires that only He knew. I would whisper often “when I have my children I want to be able to stay home and raise them in a way that God desired not the way I grew up.” A prayer that was answered! I also have the opportunity to home educate my beautiful babies. Some days are a breeze and other days I want to pull my hair out! lol

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Whatever God has brought you through just be who HE has made you to be. Comparing yourself just causes unhappiness, jealousy and sometime anger towards God because all you see is what other have gotten. All you might have gotten is struggle after struggle. Struggling isn’t all bad just remember it will make you stronger and wiser! The person you see that “SEEMS” to have it all. Really doesn’t. They struggle just like you just in silence. So if you want to compare yourself to anyone then compare yourself to the person in the mirror. God made you and loves you just the way you are! Beautiful and Strong inside and out!

Have a Blessed Day!