Finding My Way

It’s been quite the ride in the last couple of months. Sometimes being honest and looking yourself in the mirror can be the hardest thing to do but it’s worth it all at the end of the day.

I became a person I never wanted to become. I allowed all the emotions in my body rule. Became a person that I allowed angry, selfishness, pride, hate, and jealously rule my life. The person I never wanted to be.

I had to take real hard look in the mirror and I didn’t like what I seen. Who I truly was created to be was so buried underneath a pile of garbage and rocks that I had to really dig and pick up each piece. I had to find the gem way down underneath all the rumble.

What I found was a dirty gem that had scratches on it and needed a lot of work to make beautiful again. As I picked up each piece of garbage and rock I discovered was not pretty at all.

Selfishness, Pride, Hate, Jealousy

I bowed my head as tears stream down my face in complete despair. I hear these beautiful words from that still small voice.

I created you. I knew you before you were even born. I knew what path you would walk. I knew what you would be. I knew you and I love you just the way you are. You are beautiful to me. 

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So many times we don’t stop and realize that God Almighty knew before it even happen. HE is a Sovereign God. He gives us choices. That is what is so amazing about Him. I am far from perfect and I will never be. The way I thought, the way I spoke, the way I act and responded made this beautiful gem look ugly. I was touchy and irritable. I was outspoken. I  said things that I truly should had never said. I took things out of proportion. I was a MEAN person.

I may have never grown up in a home that taught God’s character but God brought people in my life that set a foundation. A solid foundation on His Word, His Ways,and  His Love. Foundation is the key if the house that is built can survive and flourish after the hurricanes of life.

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So my choice is to walk down a completely different road. A road that leads to balance, love, joy, peace, and contentment.

Even though I know tough days are ahead of me.

I have been blessed to have some amazing people in my life to sharpen and hold me accountable for my words and actions.

So Who am I……

I am a Jesus Girl who loves to pray for those around me and study God’s Word.  I love to laugh; yes I laugh loudly. I love to have fun. I am a wine drinker. I love chatting with my best girlfriend. I love being home with my children. Especially learning from them as much as they learn from me. I love my husband and being his wife. He challenges me to become a better wife to him and how I represent our family! I may be rough on the edges but don’t judge this book by it’s cover because really I am kid at heart and I truly never want to grow up. I love our home and re-arranging it all the time. HAHAHA. I hate laundry; who doesn’t. I hate doing dishes but thankful for dish washers. I love shopping online over shopping in a store. I love buying books. Yes books. Some women buy shoes or purses for me it’s BOOKS! I have over 300 in my kindle and I have tons more sitting on my bookshelves. Yes I love reading the books I have not just a collector. My kids have tons and tons of books. Wealth of information from all levels of life. I love Coconut Oil and Essential Oils especially learning how to implement them in our home. I have a passion for giving to others. I would rather give away than selling items. I love sponsoring our Compassion kids in Africa. It amazes us what our small contribution we give each month and birthday gifts; blessing them beyond words can describe. 

Prayer: Father God, may you soften each person that has read this blog today that they may desire to know you more. May you continue to chisel me that I may become less of me and more of you that every person that comes in contact with me sees your character shining through me. In Jesus Mighty Name. Amen

Hope and Pray that you have a Blessed Day!

Liz

HOPE

1381389_10151759018111961_2031652855_nI can hardly believe that December is only a few short days away. So I stop and look back at what 2013, has taught me about myself. Have a learned and grown in any specific ways? Have I grown in Christ? Have grown as a wife and mother? Have I grown and changed as a woman? Every year I try to stop and examine my year. See how I can do better to myself and others. This year has been a growing year. It’s been a stretching of my faith. But to me mostly, becoming the woman God has called me to be. His love is PERFECT so I don’t have to be. (A Confident Heart, Renee Swopes).

My heart had been searching and discovered who is God and not just what a preacher says He is but who He is to me. My first step came when I had to take a step back from a church that has always been my “home church” since I was a child. Then I found a church where no one knew me. I began to worship and learn who is this God I worship. In my mind if I would discover who God is then I would find out who I am in Christ, who I am as a wife, who I am as a mother, daughter, family member, and as a woman. This journey I have been on has been a very difficult one. I had to become truly honest with God, others and myself. Looking myself in the mirror has not always been a easy thing for me to do.

So who is my God? He created Heavens and earth with detail and precision. Not leaving one thing on this earth untouched with detail (Genesis 1-11). He is a Sovereign God (Rev. 21:6, Col. 1:16, Rom 11:33, Jer. 32:17).  I have always heard “Sovereign God” but never truly understood what it was meant until I started digging deeper.  In the dictionary, “sovereign” has many phrases and words attached to it, like “superior,” “supreme in power and authority, ” and independent of all others.” The way I have been able to grasp it is by saying it this way, “My God is in control of everything!” He is all -knowing and all powerful!

WOW… that blew me away completely. Then I started on the next part of my journey once I discovered the kind of God I worship. I started a Online Bible Study with Proverbs 31 with Renee Swopes Book “A Confident Heart.” Now that has been amazing way for me to be fully honest with God and myself on who I have become and how I viewed myself. So I started to be real and discovered that how I viewed myself is NOT how my God seen me in His eyes. The best part to me was, I am uniquely made and created as God’s masterpiece! That my childhood and my past does not dictate who I Am in Christ. I may had felt unloved, unaccepted, unworthy, and not valued but God word says, I am loved, I am chosen, I am worthy, I am valuable, and worthy of Him and His mercy & grace. I can close the door to my childhood and past. Become the woman God has called me to be. I am a worshiper in spirit and truth! If I expected my Sovereign God to forgive me for the wrongs I have done in my life … I must forgive and release those people who have done wrong to me.

Did you catch that…

Matthew 6:14-15 Living Bible 

“14-15 Your heavenly Father will forgive you if you forgive those who sin against you; but if you refuse to forgive them, he will not forgive you.”

Why do you think Jesus first said this directly after “Lord’s Prayer” in Matthew and then again he said it again in Mark 11:25-26. I think he was stressing the importance of forgiving even when the other person may not deserve to be forgiven. Jesus knew he was going to be betrayed but he still said it not once but twice. I have been betrayed and hurt by people that I have trusted and loved since I was a child but Jesus still tells us that we need to forgive not for the other persons sake but for our sake. So our “Sovereign God” who is all knowing and all powerful and is in control of every situation will forgive us. So if we can forgive those, He forgives us, and in turn my all knowing God will take care of them. See by releasing the betrayal, the hurt, the pain associated to the mess, He is a fair and just God. In Isaiah 61:2 we are reminded that he is in control.

Isaiah 61:2 Amplified Bible 

“2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord [the year of His favor] [a]and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,”

I have to admit forgiving certain people has been the hardest thing for me to do but what I love the most about God is found in Jeremiah. But not only forgiving and releasing the person, I started to see those people through God’s eyes. Time to get our eyes checked and get new glasses…Godly Glasses…

Jeremiah 29:11 Living Bible 

“11 For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

God has known me since I was in my mother’s belly, He knew me as a child growing up in abuse, alcoholism, confusion associated with divorce and my family being ripped and shredded apart literally. He knew me as a child, as a teenager, as a young married woman and then divorced woman. Finally, He knew what I would go through but He most importantly would give me a future but not any kind of future but with hope.

This time of year is always busy but I ask of you this season to take a step back and remember the true reason for this season. Forgiveness and love go hand in hand. I am not saying you have to be best buds with those that have done you wrong but  to forgive and release them. Then watch what God is in the business of doing…Giving a future filled with HOPE.

God Bless and have a great day!

Embracing the Season of Change

Have you ever met someone and you hit it off immediately? What kind of a relationship would you have if all you did was know “of the person” but never really invested time and energy into knowing that person?

Well, that is the season I am in….I want to invest and want personal tangible friends that are there for me just like I am for them as I grow deeper in studying “Who God Really Is.” As I have aged my true circle of friends has gotten smaller and smaller to a point that I really don’t have a close knit “bestie.” Not because I think I am better than anyone but I want to surround myself around women that strive to follow after God’s own heart.

Not just say they are but really living, breathing and demonstrating. Putting aside foolish gossip of other and  creating strife and drama in people lives. See, I have experienced the left out of things because of my stance of trying to be the woman God Almighty has called me to be. Being out of the edge can be a very lonely place at times but thanking God that His Word says that “He will never leaves me nor forsakes me” even when I am in the wilderness. Moses was in the wilderness for 40 years and God never left him but instead was the best learning time for Moses.

Who is God? Really? All my life I was taught about God and different periods of my life I seen up close and personal who God is but to know God and live for Him daily has always been a great struggle for me. We have been attending a new church; which I completely love and look forward to attending each week. Right now, Pastor Kyle is teaching on Genesis. I am so excited about this series because I just don’t want to know of God and his goodness but I WANT TO KNOW HIM! Up Close and Personal every day!

So many years, I would say I am a Christian but I didn’t live like one. Since having my babies I have struggle with the whole thing of being of this world vs being in this world. There is a difference. Jesus reminds us of this in John 15:19.

If you were of the world, the world would loves its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

So being Real means to me means becoming personal with people instead of looking on a social network and seeing pictures, seeing likes, and experiencing drama just because of a difference of opinions. Which in turns causes strife and backbiting. Being Real takes guts and boldness that stretches you as a person like never before.

So what might you see in my blogs….At times I will link up with other bloggers on subjects, encouragement, love, acceptance of thoughts and feelings without a fear of drama, and hopefully most importantly encourages you to draw closer to God yourself and being Real. Thank you for taking the time to follow my family and I on this amazing journey….

God Bless and Have a Beautiful day!

Liz